“I felt like there was a curtain between me and joy.
I could see where I was supposed to feel and be, but I couldn’t get there.
I couldn’t be happy or sad or anything.”
R.M., suffering from severe post partum depression
Is it okay to walk through life numb? Not feeling anything at all? In my friend’s case of severe postpartum depression, she went on a medication for a short time that helped her level out some chemicals in her brain. If you are living behind the curtain of numbness, if you are separated from your emotions there are non-medical steps, biblical steps you can take to get back on the path of true peace.
Emotions are a Gift
Emotions are a gift. God designed us with emotions. He participates in life with us and rejoices and weeps with us. He understands emotion. II Timothy 3 has a whole list of all the evil qualities of people in the last days- and near the end of the list is the phrase, “Without natural affection.” So then, having natural affection is a good thing, an expectation of God. The Jewish people are known the world over for their hutzpah- their zeal and zest and passion. They rage and weep wholeheartedly. I believe God loves this. When David danced before the Ark of God and was so excited he lost track of the world around him God was pleased. Emotions are a gift, for us, to give back to God. We choose to yield them to him.
In Galatians 5:22-23 God gives a list of the qualities that should characterize a person who belongs to Him, a person He is working in and through. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” Look at the list again- how would a child see these qualities? How would a child see love or joy in your life? It would be cuddles and smiles and daily acts of love. I don’t think these qualities can exist in a long-term state of numbness. The fruit of the Spirit is mental and emotional and spiritual and it is based in our identity. Because of who we now are, because of what God has done removing us from the kingdom of darkness and bringing us into the kingdom of His dear son- these qualities are a natural part of our lives. But I have walked through times of numbness- how do I get out of this pit?
Set a boundary for your heart
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you.
Not as the world gives do I give to you.
Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. John 14:27
If someone said to you, “Don’t let the dog out.” It would mean that there was a boundary for where the dog could be. God just said, “Don’t let your heart be troubled or afraid.” How do we do that? How do we stop our hearts from being troubled or afraid? Look at what Jesus was talking about- He is going to prepare a place for us- he is coming to bring us to Himself, we will be with Him. We are not to be troubled or afraid because this world is not our eternal home.
As kids when my sister, and brother, and I would bicker over something petty my mom would ask, “Does this have eternal significance?” Even in my selfishness and emotional grumpiness I could acknowledge that most of the things I argued about absolutely did not have any long term importance. Most of what we struggle with really isn’t important in eternity. Our emotions won’t get that memo until we start meditating on truth regularly. But remember, focus on the fact that Jesus didn’t leave you a safe numbness but an overarching peace.
Three choices to escape emotional numbness
” Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.
Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything
by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.“
Philippians 4:6-7 ESV
Step one:
Let’s unpack that- First, the command – Rejoice in the LORD- Paul repeats it- REJOICE. That repetition is comparable to Paul shouting in all capital letters. REJOICE IN THE LORD!!!!!!
All over the Bible God gives “Put-off’s”; behaviors we are not to do or participate in, and “Put-on’s”; what we are to do instead. It’s like your kid came in after splashing mud all over his shirt. You have to take off the dirty shirt and put on the new one. We put off sin and put on righteousness. We put off the works of darkness and put on walking in his marvelous light. We put off lying and put on speaking truth to one another.
So our Philippians passage starts with a “Put-on” – REJOICE in the LORD. He’s going to talk about anxiety in a minute. I’m going to point it out here- our first replacement for anxious thoughts is rejoicing in the Lord.
Step two:
“Let your reasonableness be known to all. ”Other versions use the word moderation or gentle spirit. The Good News Version says, “Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do, Remember, the Lord is coming soon.” The Message “Make it as clear as you can to all you meet that you are on their side working with them and not against them. Help them to see that the Master is about to arrive. He could show up any minute!” Here is my summary- THINK ABOUT MORE THAN JUST YOU.
Your reputation, what people think about you should be: She is so gentle and loving, she points me to Jesus. She isn’t extreme
LOOK FOR WAYS TO MAKE IT ABOUT THE OTHER PEOPLE AROUND YOU AS YOU REJOICE IN THE LORD.
I had a friend in Bible College many years ago. He was in his forties, but to my twenty year old self he seemed ancient. He would ride the bus everywhere he needed to go and he would ask the people around him, “What did you read in your Bible this morning?” Sometimes they would respond with a big, “What?!?” But most of the time the opportunity would be open for him to share the things he was rejoicing in the Lord about.
Step three:
Do Not be anxious about anything.
Not anything.
Do not be anxious about anything.
Anything that consumes your peace- from the thing that irritates you, to the thought that makes you cry, from the imaginary scenarios, to the actual having to do something you hate- all of them are not to make you anxious.
We are to walk around in a bubble of grace- spreading peace and joy and modelling God’s grace in the midst of our struggles and suffering. I promise that if you truly apply the truths of God’s word step by step faithfully you will have an invisible strong tower of grace surrounding you. The moat will be the peace that surrounds you. It can absolutely happen in your mind, in your heart, you- the one who is in despair. You, the one who is watching your life circle the toilet. You, the one with the special needs child who simply drains you of hope. And You, the one who has tried everything everyone told you to try. This is what the designer or your heart says will work.
God tells us not to be anxious- and then He tells us how that can happen.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
So what is the Put-off? And what is the Put-on?
How do we replace the anxiety?
In everything
By prayer
And supplication
With thanksgiving
LET
Your requests be made known to God.
ALL of them.
Let him in your fears.
Let him in your doubts.
Let him in the struggles.
Put them to him- thank Him for them- ask for what you need- and what you want.
Instead of anxieties we have thanksgiving saturated prayer.
Let me give you an example.
My youngest son has Down Syndrome. He is severely cognitively delayed. He is nine years old and still in diapers. I could be totally consumed by anxiety for whether or not he is ever going to make it out of diapers, (or a million other questions and struggles for his future). But that is my put-off.
Here is my put-on. “Lord, you graciously gave us this child, your gift to us. We thank you for being entrusted with him. Lord, give us the patience and strength to meet all his needs. Help us to know the best way to teach and guide him. Thank you for him. Thank you for the ways you are making us like you in this struggle. We praise you for it Lord. Get the glory Lord.”
Do you see how the anxiety morphs into praise filled prayer?
Try it.
Write down something you are anxious about- small or large.
Turn it into a praise- and a request.
God is a good Father.
He says that we are evil and we still want to give our kids everything they ask for. He is infinitely better than we are. He says in John 15 to please ask – that our joy may be full. God desires to fulfill our prayers. He tells us to ask- to build our relationship with Him- let Him know what we are feeling and thinking and what we want. Start here- ask- turn your anxieties into prayers.
Nothing stops your Peace
“Great peace have those who love your law;
nothing can make them stumble.” Psalm 119:165
The word translated “great” in the verse above can be translated as “mighty, exceedingly, abundant, abounding enough” that is the kind of peace we can have in our lives if we love the word of God and make it central to our thought life. Did you see the word “nothing” it literally refers to non-existence. There does not exist something that can make the lovers of the Word stumble. And stumble means that- trip. Today we might say, nothing will trip them up. The Message bible translates this verse “For those who love what you reveal, everything fits– no stumbling around in the dark for them.” My friend- learning to follow God’s way for your mental and emotional life means that NOTHING can mess with your walk. Nothing can trip you up, nothing can stop you from striding onward up the mountain of God.
It is okay to feel nothing for short periods of time while your emotions are catching up with the truth you are feeding them. Results aren’t overnight, but they are soon. If the Holy Spirit is at work in your life then the fruit of the Spirit- which is mental and emotional- should be visible in your life. If you have been in a state of numbness for awhile make sure you check out Mayday! I am in Crisis for more support. Please also sign up for my newsletter to guide you away from deception and keep you on the path to peace. If you want to understand this Jesus and Bible stuff please click on this link: What does it mean to be saved?.
So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you:
Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering.
Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him.
Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.
Romans 12:1-2 MSG
Here is a prayer based on these verses:
Lord, help me to take my everyday ordinary life, my sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life and offer it to you.
I do, Lord, I offer my life to you. You bought it at the cross, but I keep acting like it is mine. Forgive me. Take it. It is yours.
Lord, help me to embrace what you have done for me.
Give me a deeper understanding of the Cross, of your love, of where you are at work and what I am called to do.
Lord, I do so very much without even thinking. I do fit into my culture instead of yours.
Lord, please cause me to fix my attention on you. Change me from the inside out.
Make me able to recognize your desires and be obedient to respond quickly.
Lord, develop well formed maturity in me, mind and heart, body and soul.
Lord, transform me by the renewing of my mind.
I am yours. Thank you for making me yours. Amen
Have a day filled with joy sweet friend!
